ISSUES
: Sexuality and Gender
Chapter 1: Understanding sexuality
4
Am I LGBT?
Q
uestioning
your
sexual
orientation can be difficult,
often because of other people’s
attitudes. But it could make perfect
sense of feelings you’ve had for a long
time.
Whether you’re straight, lesbian, gay,
bisexual or transgender, there’s no
reason not to feel confident and proud
of who you are.
I keep hearing this word
‘sexuality’ – what is it?
Sexuality isn’t just about sex, it’s about
your feelings, emotions, attractions and
desires and how you express these.
It includes whether we’re attracted
to women, men or both (our sexual
orientation) and what we do sexually.
Having sexual thoughts and feelings is a
normal, healthy part of human life. This
is true whether you’re attracted to men,
women or both. Some people aren’t
much interested in sex at all, and this is
normal too.
When will I know if I’m gay
or straight or bisexual or
transgender?
It takes time to figure out who we are
sexually and to understand our gender
identity and orientation, just as it takes
time to figure out other areas of our lives.
The important thing is to be true to
how you feel at the time and to respect
yourself and others around you.
So-and-so knows me really well
and reckons I’m gay/lesbian/
bisexual/transgender – am I?
It’struethatgoodfriendscansometimes
tell us things about ourselves we might
not have realised, but you shouldn’t be
swayed too much by what anyone else
says about your sexuality.
Only you know can how you really feel
inside.
If I think I am gay, lesbian,
bisexual or transgender –
should I tell people?
We have a guide on coming out
as gay, lesbian or bisexual, as well
as a guide on how to come out
as transgender. There are many
different things you should take
into consideration when it comes
to coming out, but it’s entirely your
decision.
I had a sex dream about
someone who’s the same sex
as me – what does it mean?
Having one dream about a same-
sex mate probably doesn’t mean
you’re gay or lesbian.
On the other hand, if your sexy
dreams are always about members
of your own sex, and you enjoy
similar fantasies and daydreams,
they could be telling you something.
I suddenly thought about
someone my own sex while
I was masturbating – what
does it mean?
For lots of us, sexuality isn’t as
simple as being gay or lesbian
or straight. Lots of people have
fantasies involving people the same
sex as them, even if they wouldn’t
want to actually have sex with them.
Meanwhile, if your sexual fantasies
are usually about people of your
own sex and have been for a while,
it’s a pretty strong indication you’re
attracted to people the same sex as
you.
Me and my mate started
getting off with each other –
am I gay/lesbian?
Having a sexual experience with
someone the same sex as you does
not make you gay or lesbian.
Three things here:
1.
It’s normal to feel physically
attracted sometimes to people
we’re close to.
2.
Hormones surge during puberty.
3.
Lots of people end up
experimenting sexually with
their same-sex mates.
In answer to the question, only time
will tell. You might become life-long
lovers, or one or both of you both
might feel completely different
about each other as time passes.
You might decide to pursue other
same-sex relationships or you might
not.
In the meantime, you should know
that what happened is a fairly
normal part of growing up and try
not to stress about it.
What if I feel I’m really a
different sex and am in the
wrong body?
The term ‘transgender’ describes
a range of people whose feelings
about their gender identity (who
they feel they are) differ from the
assumptions made about them
when they were born.
Transgender people can be
attracted to men, women, both or
neither, regardless of their sex at
birth or the gender they choose to
live as.
Some transgender people choose
to live as their birth sex, some as
the gender they feel they really
are. Others may decide to be open
about being transgender with some
people but not with everyone.
More info
Check out the LGBT Youth Scotland
website:
You can also get advice via mobile
phone from LGBT Youth Scotland
by texting ‘info’ and where you are
in Scotland to 0778 148 17 88.
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The above information is
reprinted with kind permission
from Young Scot. Please visit
for
more
information.
© Young Scot
Disclaimer:
Sexuality and
gender identity are often talked
about together but they are
separate from one another.
