ISSUES
: Drugs
Chapter 3: Addiction & rehab
38
They think I have a drugs/alcohol problem
When friends or family members get on your case about taking drugs or drinking alcohol it
might seem unfair, but there are ways of handling the situation so that you are both happy.
Y
ou started with a bit of weed,
but now you’re smoking
every day and you can’t be
bothered getting up for work or
college any more. Maybe you’re
partial to the odd beer or ten, and
your hangovers leave you begging
for a dark room and a couple of
cans to get you back on your
feet. Or do you knock back a few
ecstasy pills at the weekend then
feel like the comedown is lasting all
week?
So now your parents have started
noticing what a stinking mood
you’re in and they’re giving you grief
about it. Or your sister is giving you
a hard time after she found king-
size papers in your room. Maybe
your partner is nagging that things
have got to change otherwise
they’re leaving you? And you’re left
wondering why they don’t just get
off your case and leave you alone.
I don’t think I have a drugs/
alcohol problem!
If your drug or alcohol use has
reached a point where other people
have noticed or are getting involved
– by nagging you to stop, begging
you to change or even completely
disowning you, the chances are
they are viewing it as a problem.
You might not see it as an issue, but
if you do, it’s annoying that they’re
all butting into your life.
Jenny is now 24 but was using large
amounts of ecstasy, speed and
cocaine between the ages of 15
to 18. At the time, she wasn’t that
concerned about the effect it was
having on her family and friends, but
her situation escalated to the point
where her she completely alienated
the people who cared about her.
“My friends hated the way I changed
into a moody cow who only cared
about going out at the weekends,”
she says. “My best mate at school
said I had to choose between
her and drugs. At the time I just
laughed at her and said there was
no competition. We didn’t speak for
years after that.”
How are you making others
feel?
Looking back on her situation, Jenny
can see how wrapped up she was
in drugs and how she didn’t really
consider anyone else around her. “I
think users only see what they want
to see and don’t realise the hurt they
can cause,” says Jenny. “They can
become very self-centred and anyone
who doesn’t share their love of drugs
is seen as ignorant.”
Though you may find it difficult to
consider the feelings of your parents,
siblings, friends or partner, doing so
can help you communicate with them
better, which will only improve your
situation in the long term.
Louise, a parent and family worker
in a substance misuse service, has
a brother who is heroin dependent.
“When we found out about my
brother my family was in shock. We
knew nothing about drugs and were
frightened about what could happen
to him,” she says.
This is a normal response; you may
be on familiar territory, but your family
is often in the dark when it comes to
what your lifestyle actually involves.
Think about it – while it might just
seem like a few bongs or a couple
of lines of coke to you, to your dad,
who has a limited experience of drug
taking, you could already be on the
road to ruin.
“If your family or friends have actually
started asking you questions about
drugs, one of the best things you can
do is talk to them,” says Louise. “Their
imagination about what’s happening
is usually a hundred times worse than
the reality. Once your drug use is out
in the open, lying and keeping secrets
only increases anxiety and makes
relationships suffer.”
How to get on with each other
Whether or not you’re feeling ready
to change your behaviour, or whether
you even want to, it will be a long
while before people will realise that
they can’t make you change. Finding
ways to keep them on your side will
help enormously in easing tensions
on the home front. It could also stop
you from losing the people who care
about you, as Jenny did.
Be proactive and responsible to show
them that at least you will look after
yourself. Go to a drug advice centre
and find out all the information you
need about the substances you’re
using (even if it’s booze – you may
be surprised at how little you know).
You can also make a harm reduction
plan along with the people who are
concerned about you. For example,
always tell them where you are going,
tell a friend what drugs you are taking,
and don’t mix with other drugs or
alcohol.
Feeling fearful is a major reason why
family members try to force you into
help you might not want. Point them
in the direction of a family drug worker
who will support them and help to
improve communication between
everyone.
Jenny adds: “Remember that their
concerns stem from love and worry,
they only want you to be OK. I just
thought my mates were jealous of
what a great time I was having, I didn’t
realise howmuch I was scaring them.”
The above information is reprinted
with kind permission from The Mix –
Essential support for under 25s (www.
themixuk.org)
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under 25-year-olds in the UK. We
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