ISSUES
: Domestic Violence
Chapter 2: Tackling domestic abuse
34
mum and her sisters were scared of
him. They had to ask for permission
every time they went somewhere.
“Once I went with my grandmother
to stay with cousins, while their mum
was in hospital. When my uncle found
out, he told my mum to bring me
home or he would kill her and burn the
house down.”
It was while her grandmother was
in Pakistan, that their uncle began
bombarding Shabana with calls,
trying to lure her to her gran’s empty
flat.
“He claimed he had pictures of me
with boys and wanted to meet at the
flat to discuss them, or he’d tell my
mum.
“Every time he texted me to meet up
I’d swear at him. But he’d always reply
back that he loved me. I threatened to
call the police, but he told me to go
ahead because my mum wasn’t going
to believe me over him.
“I knew this was true, so I never told
anyone.”
A few weeks later, while Shabana was
at a driving lesson, their uncle turned
up at the family home and offered to
take her 11-year-old sister shopping.
Instead he took the terrified youngster
to their grandmother’s flat and tried to
rape her.
“When I got home, she started crying
and said ‘it’s uncle, he kissed me,
touched me and make me do things’.
I screamed the house down and
phoned the police. Even then, my
mum told me to stop so we could deal
with it within the family. But I knew
they just wanted to talk me out of it.“
Shabana’s uncle was arrested, but as
the trial date got nearer, the pressure
on her to withdraw the case grew.
“Our whole family was against us.
They went on about family honour,
playing the religious card to make us
feel guilty and accused my sister of
leading him on.”
It was at this point that Shabana came
across an article on MWNUK and
contacted them. They were able to
support the girls and raise awareness
about their case.
“MWNUK understand about our
culture and how, when things like this
happen within Muslim families, the
first reaction is to keep quiet andmake
sure nobody finds out. But the charity
are completely against that. Knowing
we weren’t alone gave us the strength
to carry on.”
Their uncle pleaded guilty to assault
and oral rape and was sentenced to
64 months in prison in June.
Shabana added: “A helpline is needed
because many Muslim women don’t
have anybody to turn to. It’s not talked
about in our communities.”
One of the most recent cases the
MWNUK dealt with concerned a
17-year-old victim of forced marriage.
Aisha* faced months of emotional and
physical abuse by her parents before
she was taken to Pakistan to wed her
30-year-old cousin, who she’d never
even met.
“It started off with lectures about
family honour, but then they started
beating me with leather belts. They
took away my phone, purse and
Western clothes. I wasn’t allowed
to see my friends or go to the shop
unaccompanied,” she explained.
When Aisha arrived in Pakistan, she
was warned that if she didn’t play the
role of the happy bride, she would die.
“With my dad, it wasn’t about family
honour, but his honour. He threatened
to kill me if I didn’t go through with it. I
knew he meant it.
“On the wedding night, I told my
husband that I didn’t want to sleep
with him, so he forced me. He raped
me three or four times each night.
Then, in the morning, I had to pretend
I was happy.
“When I came back to England, my
parents thought I was happy, so they
let me have my phone back. When
everyone was asleep, I looked up
forced marriages and found MWNUK.
“I told them what had happened.
They calmed me down and advised
me. One night, I ran away with
nothing. MWNUK helped me find
accommodation, food and clothes.
They also assisted me in getting a
legal and Islamic divorce. It’s changed
my life.”
With the launch of the first national
helpline for Muslim women and girls
helpline, voices of women such as
Aisha and Shabana will no longer
remain unheard. The charity hope that
more will find the confidence to come
forward and seek help.
Perhaps, finally, the veil of silence
which has kept these problems
hidden for so long, will finally be lifted.
*Names and identifying details have
been changed to protect the women’s
identities.
The Muslim Women’s Network
Helpline can be contacted on 0800
999 5786 or you can visit their website:
.
14 January 2015
Ö
Ö
The above information is
reprinted with kind permission
from
The Telegraph
. Please visit
for further
information.
© Telegraph Media Group
Limited 2016
