ISSUES
: Domestic Violence
Chapter 1: Domestic violence
4
Myths vs facts
Below, the Women and Girls Network has gathered some of the most common myths about
violence against women, along with the facts.
MYTH: Violence is when someone
is physically injured
FACT: Violence against women
extends beyond just the physical.
Acts such as calling a woman names,
constantly criticising her, forcing her
to dress in a certain way, not allowing
her to use contraception, forcing
her to have abortions, isolating her
from family and friends, pressurising
her to get married are all forms of
violence against women. The impact
of these actions are devastating and
although they do not necessarily leave
physical scars, the emotional and
psychological trauma can take years
to heal.
MYTH: Some religions state that
violence against women and girls
is OK
FACT: No religion says it is OK to
abuse women and girls. However,
some abusers try to use their own
interpretation of their religion as
a justification for violence. This
interpretation may be supported
by some members of the wider
community but this does not mean
that what they believe should be seen
as more authentic or valid than other
more progressive views. Domestic
violence is a crime and is against the
law and religion does not change that.
MYTH: Rape is horrific – but it’s not
very common
FACT: 3.7 million women in England
and Wales have been sexually
assaulted at some point since the
age of 16. Around 10,000 women
are sexually assaulted, and 2,000
women are raped, every week. 34%
of all rapes recorded by the police
are committed against children under
16 years of age. Given how common
rape is, the level of reporting to the
police is very low. Surveys carried out
all over the world show that between
50% to over 90% of women do not
report rape to the police.
MYTH: Rape and sexual assault
usually happen late at night on quiet
roads and in parks
FACT:Rapeandsexual assault happen
in different places. Women and girls
report being raped and assaulted in
their own homes, at work, at school,
in clubs and bars, in the homes of
the rapist and sometimes they do
not know where they were assaulted.
Regardless of where a woman or a
girl is assaulted she is still entitled to
protection, support and care if she
chooses to report to the police.
MYTH: Women and girls are most
likely to be raped by a stranger
FACT: The reality is that women and
girls are more likely to be raped by
someone they know. This could be
a boyfriend, husband, friend, work
colleague, classmate, acquaintance
or a member of their family. 97% of
women who contacted Rape Crisis
said they knew the person who
raped them. 43% of girls questioned
in a national survey said the person
responsible for an unwanted sexual
experience was a boy they knew or
were friends with.
MYTH: Young women who wear
revealing clothes are more likely to
be raped
FACT: Rapists do not target women
and girls just because of the way they
look. From children of a few months
old, to women in their 90s, women
of all ages and appearances are
raped. Blaming the way a woman or
a girl dresses is a way of justifying
the behaviour of rapists. Whether a
woman is wearing a pair of jeans, a
skirt, hijab, school uniform or a salwar
kameez has nothing to do with why
she was raped. Rape is an act of
dominance, control and power.
MYTH: If a girl accepts drink, drugs,
gifts or money from a boy, then of
course he would expect her to have
sex with him and his friends
FACT: This is a formof exploitation and
usually the people supplying alcohol,
money and gifts have the power in this
relationship and will use this to their
advantage. Girls who are exploited are
likely to be coming from a position of
vulnerability such as previous abuse,
family breakdown, low self-esteem
and disengaging from school and are
unlikely to be truly consenting to this
type of sexual activity.
MYTH: If a girl does not say ‘no’ to
sex, it means she has consented
FACT: Just because a girl/woman
does not say no, this does not
mean she has consented to sex.
Depending on the situation, it is not
always possible to say no and even
if she does say no, the boy/man she
is with may not respect her decision
and might continue to pressure her
into having sex. There are other ways
that a boy/man is able to recognise
a girl/woman does not want to have
sex such as the fact she is crying, she
looks uncomfortable or scared or that
she is completely silent and still. In a
safe and healthy situation it is possible
for them to talk about whether they
are both ready to have sex. However,
in a situation that is being controlled
and dominated by the boy/man, this
type of discussion is unlikely to take
place. If a boy/man has sex with a girl
who has not actively consented, he is
committing an act of rape for which he
can be prosecuted.
MYTH: It is common for women
and girls to lie about being raped
FACT: The level of false reporting is
very low. Research suggests that it
is about 2% and in fact other crimes
such as burglary have a higher rate of
false reporting because of insurance
claims. The reality is that women
and girls are reluctant to report rape
because they are afraid they will not
be believed and feel ashamed about
what has happened to them.
MYTH: Women scream and shout
when they are being raped
FACT: Responses to rape and sexual
assault vary. Some women may
scream and physically ‘fight back’
whilst others are not able to do
so. This is because some women
‘freeze’ due to fear, if there are several
perpetrators she may be too scared to
‘resist’ or if she is drunk her ability to
