ISSUES
: Domestic Violence
Chapter 1: Domestic violence
16
Male victims of women’s violence fear
not being believed
Men who receive help from crisis centres are mostly satisfied with the help they
get. But they fear that nobody will believe that they’ve been abused by a woman.
By Eivor Maeland
“T
here is little difference
between how men and
women handle being
exposed to domestic violence,” says
criminologist Yngvil Grøvdal.
She is one of the researchers behind
the report
Men at crisis centres
(
Menn på krisesenter
), based on
qualitative interviews with 16 men.
14 of them were exposed to violence
from a female partner, while two
were exposed to violence from male
partners.
The 16 men were recruited to the
survey through the three crisis
centres with most male users at the
time of the survey in 2012.
In the new report, Grøvdal and her
colleague Wenche Jonassen from
Norwegian Centre for Violence and
Traumatic Stress Studies (NKVTS)
look at men who are victims
of domestic violence and their
experiences with crisis centres.
“As far as we know, Norway is the
only country where men are legally
entitled to access at crisis centres,”
says Grøvdal.
The men
Ten of the interviewees in the report
were ethnic Norwegians, one was
a European and five were originally
from non-western countries. Half of
the men who were victims of female
violence had children with the
woman. All except two had ended
their relationship with the abuser
when they were interviewed.
The men were generally satisfied
with their experiences with the staff
at the crisis centres. In particular,
they were impressed by the way the
staff made the most out of limited or
lacking resources.
“All in all, the men were very satisfied
with the staff at the crisis centres
and their efforts,” says Grøvdal.
“This may be partly due to the
selection. The crisis centres would
probably not have recruited people
they know are unhappy with the
work they do. But it also appears
that these men had low expectations
in the first place. This may be due to
their perception of crisis centres, but
some of them had bad experiences
from the general support system.
This may lead to lower expectations
the next time you seek help,” she
says.
The universally human
Six years ago, in January 2010, the
Crisis Centre Act was passed. From
then on, the municipalities have been
responsible for the crisis centres and
access has become gender neutral.
“Men who are exposed to domestic
violence have many of the same
needs as female victims of domestic
violence. Something universally
human seems to come into play when
you are exposed to violence from
your partner or someone you have
chosen to share your life with. This is
probably one of the reasons why the
competence at the crisis centres is
perceived as relevant for men as well
as for women,” says Grøvdal.
Fear of more violence, shame,
anxiety related to how the children
will handle the situation, and warm
feelings for the violent abuser are
reoccurring elements in both men’s
and women’s stories about their lives
with violence.
Shameful
Several of the men in the survey
expressed shame of being victims
of violence from a woman. It doesn’t
agreewith their own or society’s ideas
of what men are or are supposed to
be.
“In my culture it is shameful to tell
someone that I’ve been hit by a
woman. No one would believe it
either. Neither did I dare to return
the violence, in fear of being
deported [out of the country].”
This is a quote from “David”, an
African man in his thirties. David’s
wife came to Norway before him,
and worked in a nursing home. When
David came to Norway on family
reunification, he had problems
getting work and getting integrated
into Norwegian society. His wife
eventually started taking control of
his life, she often yelled at him, and
threatened him by saying that her
father and brothers would beat him
up. She also became violent herself:
during a fight she spat him in the
face, hit him in the face with a flat
hand and she threatened him with a
knife several times.
With the proviso that such
categories are problematic, the
researchers have categorised the
violence into aggravated violence,
less aggravated violence and mental
abuse. One example of aggravated
violence from the research material
was one who had his eye torn out.
Other examples of aggravated
violence may be when the abuser
uses a knife and reoccurring violent
episodes. So-called less aggravated
violence is violence that causes low
risk of physical damage such as
pulling the hair, spitting, pinching
and so on.
“Although many of the reactions
and actions from the interviewed
men are similar to those of women
in the same situation, men appear
to be more worried about not being
believed when they talk about the
violence than women are,” says
Grøvdal.
“Several said that no one would
believe that they had been victims
of violence from a woman. Some
said their partner had told them that
no one would believe them.”
